Death

Death is never a welcome visitor. Even if it is a blessing for those hurting, sick or sad. The inevitable guest at the end of our earthly existence..expected....but misunderstood at best. To have a young man inadvertently, accidentally kill himself....give in to the demons of addiction and drugs, I cannot comprehend it. I cannot understand the waste of a such a gentle soul. How are those left expected to deal the with the emotional heart ache of the "why could they?" "Could I have done more?" Why some live....some die....some exist....forever will create questions in my mind. I just don't have the words to express the sense of loss for all the death that has occurred within the last week. Ultimately...I do believe that God is in control...that His eye is on the sparrow and that He watches over His own. Sometimes...sometimes...I would just like to understand things a bit more.
Lily

Failure

A heavy sense of failure has been my constant companion as of late. Struggles with people and responsibilities towards them. Most days I would just as soon stay inside and never go out. I'd rather be in seclusion than offend. I have no answers. This is just my daily struggle. I know there is a reason for it. A purpose in it. But it is not quite clear to me yet. My trust is in the Lord, not in my ability to understand my circumstances, my emotional/mental state but in Him.

Lily

A disciple is like his Lord.

From Oswald Chambers today:

"It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his Lord." Matthew 10:25

"In the East the women sing as they grind the corn between the millstones: and the 'the sound of the millstones' is music in the ears of God. The worlding does not think it music, but the saint who is being made into bread knows that his Father knows best, and that He would never allow the suffering if He had not some purpose. Ill-tempered people, hard circumstances, poverty, wilful misunderstands and estrangements, are all millstones. Had Jesus any of these things in His own life? He had a devil in His company for three years; He lived at home with brothers and sisters who did not believe in Him; He was continually thwarted and misunderstood by the Pharisee, and He says, 'the disciple is not above his mater'. If we have the tiniest element of self-pity in us God dare not put us anywhere near the millstones. When these experiences come, remember God has His eye on every detail. "

I'm afraid that I might be one of those ill-tempered people that cause the other saints offense. This is my own millstone. Please Lord, please, grind out of me the old man.

Lovingly....for you Lord,
Lily

Rejoice...and again I say rejoice.

This is the day that the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Be Guided by The Word of God

Be guided by the Word of God. (John 1:1) Not only by written word but the indwelling Word. The written word serves only to confirm what the Spirit (Word) of God has already written on your heart. (Hebrews 8:10 & Jeremiah 31:33) We serve one Master, we have one King. Dear Bride of Christ, listen for your Bridegroom.

Lily

Deliverance....the work of the Lord

"And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worth of me." Matthew 10:37-38

Family loyalty is a good thing. Truly. If you can't depend on your family than who can you depend on? In the natural, physical, human realm this is an acceptable way to behave, an expected way to live. The problem comes in when family does not act properly, does not live according to the Spirit of Life. What then?

Your first loyalty must be to the Lord Jesus Christ. Figuratively speaking He is saying to his disciples in the above scripture, "If you do not love me more than anyone, more than anything, more than life itself, you are not worthy of Me."

Would the Lord ask this of me? To choose Him over family. Yes. He would. If my family is not seeking God and is bent on tearing me down or intent on being a stumbling block to me, I must remove myself from them, continue to pray for them, but give them no presence in my life. Does this mean that I don't love them....perhaps, in a humanistic type of way, but in God's way it is the most loving thing to do for yourself and for them. Remove yourself from them and let God have his way with them. There is no other way to cope with this.

Lily

A River Runs Through It

Last night I watched the movie, "A River Runs Through It." For those of you who have seen it I need not elaborate but for those who have not, the essential theme is about family. The story is told through the eyes of an older brother. In one of the last scenes the father, Reverend Maclean, shortly before his death, said this,

"Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question. 'We are willing to help Lord but what if anything is needed?' It is seldom true we can help those closest to us, either we don't know what part of ourselves to give but more often than not the part we have to give is not wanted. And so, it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them. We can love completely without complete understanding."

This touched me deeply because there are times that our children will not let us love them the way we want to. They don't seem to need our concern or our questions. They only want their laundry done, their food prepared and the stability of us being there. Just being there. The place of distant viewing is forced upon us by those that we are supposed to love. They cannot seem to find it in themselves to forgive us for our shortcomings as parents.

God stands afar off from most, with Himself to give, in the physical form of His Son, and we do not want Him. We want His blessings. We want many things but we don't truly want Him. His faithfulness is overwhelming. His love knows no bounds. But His distance from us is of our own doing. My husband says, "God is the ultimate Gentleman." He will not come in where He is not invited. If you draw boundaries He will not step over them.

I have had to erase a few boundaries lately and in so doing it has widened my spiritual horizons. I was given eyes to see and ears to hear with. And with my new eyes I could see those who needed to be loved completely but as yet were not completely understood. I could hear the silent cry of those who simply needed acceptance for who they were. This acceptance I have craved all my life and the Lord is saying, "You must give before you can get. You must do before it is done to you."

I am thine O Lord, I have heard thy voice and it told thy love to me.
I long to rise in the arms of faith and be closer drawn to thee.
Draw me nearer, nearer precious Lord to the cross where thou hast died.
Draw me nearer, nearer precious Lord, to thy precious bleeding side.

Erase your boundaries.
Lily